MolarRollerā¢ AI-Powered Self-Brushing Mouth Spa
Gift type: Fake
Estimated Price: Ā£42.95
MolarRollerā¢ is the world's first AI-powered, hands-free, fully immersive tooth-cleaning experience. Just bite down, press 'Go', and let the soft silicone rollers do the rest. With BiteSyncā¢ technology, it maps your dental topography in real-time, adjusting speed and pressure to deliver a dentist-level clean - minus the awkward small talk.
Ideal for lazy humans, tired parents, gamers mid-match, or anyone who'd rather outsource their dental routine to a benevolent robot overlord. Welcome to the future of oral care - itās foamy, fast, and freakishly effective.
- Brand: MolarRoller Labs (Division of Probably Not Legal)
- Dimensions: 14cm x 7cm x 6cm (mouthpiece unit)
- Materials: Medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, sarcasm
- Colour(s): Glacier Mint, Noir Enamel, Limited Edition āTooth Fairy Pinkā
- Other Specifications:
- Rechargeable via USB-C
- Dual-Speed AutoBrushā¢ Mode
- Built-in LED smile illumination
- Compatible with most mouths aged 12+
- 100% AI-generated brushing playlists (optional)
If you've ever stared at your toothbrush and felt existential despair, MolarRollerā¢ might be your salvation. Itās weird. Itās brilliant. It feels like biting into the future, and having the future whir softly for two minutes while humming gentle encouragement.
š Read more...We tried it during a late-night coding session and were surprised by how clean our teeth felt - and how emotionally supported we felt by its warm LED glow. Sure, it makes a sound thatās somewhere between a purring cat and a tiny car wash, but that just adds to the charm.
Honestly, weāre not going back. This is one small bite for man, one giant clean for molar-kind.