Gifts We Made Up (but Really Wish Existed)
This is just a bit of fun đ¤. None of the gifts on this page are real (sadly!). We totally made them up, but in an ideal world, theyâd be sitting in our shopping baskets already. Think of this as a wishlist from an alternate universe, where unicorn-powered alarm clocks and self-cleaning sock drawers are perfectly normal.
A toaster that listens, reassures, and lightly toasts while you sob into your jam.
Finally, a litter tray that takes care of itself! Powered by advanced AI, it scoops, cleans, and even monitors your petâs health.
A fully automated, AI-guided oral hygiene device that cleans all your teeth in under 120 seconds. No hands, no fuss, no judgement.
A discreet neural chip that gives you full access to ChatGPT using only your thoughts. Now you can argue with an AI from the comfort of your own mind.
A tail-reading wearable that analyses your dogâs tail movements and translates them into emotional readouts. Slightly too accurate.
A scent-based activity mat that makes your dogâs bathroom loitering more interactive and slightly less awkward.
A spa experience for pets, featuring tuna-scented mist, purring soundscapes, and a flattery mirror. Yes, really.
A collar that "translates" your catâs meows into English. Comes with suspiciously sarcastic voice options.
A sarcastic laundry-folding robot that folds your clothes while judging your life choices. Also destroys fitted sheets out of principle
Luxury bath salts infused with eucalyptus, glitter, and a satisfying hint of vengeance. Soak your stress away in the tears of those who wronged you.
A stylish evening bag with a built-in scream function for when you've had enough, but society says âbe nice.â
Emotion-sensing nail polish that changes colour based on your feelings. Like a mood ring, but sassier and with glitter
Press. Scream. Repeat. The stress-relief solution for modern life, minus the restraining orders
Need space? Get a bubble. A wearable one. Designed for awkward times, clingy colleagues, and anyone whoâs ânot really a hugger.
Make your own lounge out of thin air. Literally. Quick to pitch, impossible to explain. The Airport Lounge Tent is peak unnecessary genius.
Talk to squirrels. Understand their culture. Negotiate nut treaties. Itâs time to befriend the fluff
Musical toilet roll that plays a short tune with every pull. Wipe with rhythm and class
Minty-fresh, bamboo-based floss specially designed to clean between your toes. Because why should teeth have all the fun?
Looks like an extension lead. Works like... it doesnât. Experience the freedom of no power.
Zero calories. Zero flavour. Zero logic. Itâs Diet Water â hydration with a marketing degree.
Hilariously pointless but technically accurate: just add water to rehydrate your Dehydrated Water!
Looks smart. Isnât. Your new favourite conversation starter / paperweight / tech prank
Finally, a dartboard the whole family can play with â as long as nobody uses real darts.
