Scream-In-A-Can – Instant Catharsis, On Demand
Gift type: Fake
Estimated Price: £12.49
Meet your new emotional support item: Scream-In-A-Can™. Designed for those moments when shouting into the void isn’t practical — like during meetings, parenting, or queueing behind someone using coins — this handheld miracle delivers a perfectly calibrated scream with just the press of a button.
No more damaging your own vocal cords or alarming pigeons. Each can comes preloaded with five scream types, from a polite British groan to a soul-shattering horror-movie shriek. Simply select your mode, press the top, and let the digital agony flow through the room like a banshee of justice. It’s portable, rechargeable (emotionally, at least), and weirdly therapeutic.
Finally, a product that lets you lose your cool... responsibly.
We didn’t think we needed a can full of screaming until we tried it. Now we won’t go to the post office without it. The Scream-In-A-Can™ is the ultimate pressure valve for 2020s living — a compact, ridiculous, and yet oddly perfect gadget for every adult pretending to have it all together.
👀 Read more...The range of scream options is surprisingly versatile. Mild Frustration is ideal for “password incorrect” moments, while Full Meltdown is brilliant for any interaction involving HMRC. The sound quality is crisp, horrifying, and just artificial enough not to get the police called (unless you use it at a bus stop… ask us how we know).
Its ergonomic shape fits comfortably in your hand or desk drawer, and the fact you can switch out scream cartridges opens up a world of sonic potential (we’re waiting for the “Passive-Aggressive Mum” DLC pack). If you ever feel like throwing your laptop out the window but still want to remain employable — this is your safe, shouty alternative.