Tears of My Enemies Bath Salts – Soak in Vengeance
Gift type: Fake
Estimated Price: £5.99
Tears of My Enemies Bath Salts are the perfect antidote to a long day of dealing with people who tested your patience, underestimated your power, or used the phrase “calm down” unironically.
Crafted from ethically harvested imaginary tears, these salts are infused with calming eucalyptus, crushed Himalayan salt, shimmer dust, and just a whisper of poetic justice. Whether you're decompressing from a microaggression or simply celebrating your superiority in a bubble bath, this potion of petty peace is here for you.
Just pour generously into warm running water and imagine the soothing scent wafting up from the crumbled egos of those who dared cross you. Best enjoyed with candles, a locked door, and a playlist titled "Bad Witch Energy."
- Brand: Bath & Beyond Vengeance
- Dimensions: 250g glass jar (approx. 8cm x 10cm)
- Materials: Himalayan pink salt, eucalyptus oil, lavender extract, shimmer mica powder, 0.03% repressed rage
- Colour(s): Soft blush pink with pearlescent shimmer
- Other Specifications: Vegan, cruelty-free, gluten-free, emotionally charged. No actual enemies were harmed in the making of this product.
We tried these bath salts after a week of passive-aggressive meetings, slow walkers, and someone breathing too loudly in the office. The results? Divine. The salts dissolve easily, the fragrance is a relaxing mix of “spa day” and “sweet revenge,” and the shimmer leaves just the right amount of sparkle on your skin without making you look like a disco ball.
👀 Read more...Our favourite part? The label — because nothing says “I’m healing” like soaking in the metaphorical misery of your enemies. Bonus points for the internal monologue it inspires. We spent 30 peaceful minutes in the tub plotting fictional revenge arcs and came out feeling like a new woman with main character energy.
This is the self-care tool you never knew you needed. Highly recommended for anyone who needs a break from being the bigger person.